Bobby Van's Review

Bobby Van’s Steak House

1201 New York Ave NW
Washington, DC
(202) 589-1504

Bobby Van’s is a chain steak house with 2 locations in Washington DC, 6 locations in New York City and 2 more locations in Long Island.  The atmosphere at the restaurant we visited was dark and heavy.  The walls were a cream color, accented with lots of medium brown wood paneling and hunter green marble.  Old and not at all fabulous chandeliers adorned the ceilings.  The appearance was reminiscent of an old Englishman’s library or study.  It was not the warmest environment.  It actually felt quite stuffy and dated.  We were confused by the strange collection of overgrown wine bottles scattered all over the restaurant.  There were multiple seating areas both upstairs and downstairs, for parties of all sizes.This restaurant seemed to be attached to a large office complex and felt a bit out of place considering its surroundings. 

The service was very good.  Our waitress and her assistants were very helpful and attentive.  When she found out that we were sharing our meals, she asked the kitchen to split the items in the back, which meant that the food came out on two different plates.  That was the first time a restaurant has done that for us and it was a very nice touch.  The food coming out of the kitchen however was far from wonderful.  Much of it was unseasoned, boring and one dish was downright repugnant.  That tomfoolery had to be sent back to the kitchen.  

A mixed crowd of patrons were found throughout the various dining rooms.  If you desire to waste your money and visit, it would be a spot to go with friends.  It is definitely not a kid friendly restaurant.  There is valet parking available for $8 which is not bad for DC.  The prices here are very high considering the lack of quality in the food.  Without our living social discount this meal would have cost us well over a hundred dollars.  With our discount and the food we had to send back our total only came to $40.  We don’t recommend that you waste your time or precious finances at this restaurant.  Overall we give Bobby Van’s Steak House ♪♪. 

Colossal Crab Cocktail

Imagine the biggest jumbo lumps of crabmeat you have ever seen piled high in a bowl.  Now place a delicious homemade cocktail sauce mixed with the perfect amount of horseradish to give it a splendid kick.  That’s Colossal Crab Cocktail.  This was by far the best dish of the night.  Imagine that…it was the only dish that did not have to be cooked.  Lol

Sweet Chili Calamari

The chef attempted to fry calamari.  Unfortunately his attempt was an epic fail.  The calamari was tender.  However his heat on the oil was not hot enough so the breading was super soggy and therefore just crumbled and fell off the squid.  It was very greasy and soggy.  The peanut dipping sauce was flavorful and buttery.  The sauce helped to rescue the dish.

Sesame Encrusted Tuna

This tuna was very deceiving.  It came to the table with a brilliantly deep red color that was so very alluring and tantalizing.  Once we bit into the fish it was bland and flavorless.  We were duped, hoodwinked and bamboozled.  That beautiful fish had as much flavor as a shoelace.  Fortunately there was some seaweed in this dish and it added some flavor and depth to the dish. 

Roasted Pork Chop

This poor little piggy was treated with so much disrespect that we almost called PETA and the ASPCA.  They roasted that poor chop until it was dry as the Sahara Desert and hard as a 10 foot cement wall.  It had NO and I do mean NO flavor what so ever, not even a flake of pepper.  Thank God we did not order a steak.  I’m scared of what they would have done to it.  Then the chef had the nerve to add this rancid, repugnant concoction that was so bad we had to spit it out of our mouth.  It was this pureed oniony, pickle flavored craziness that was sweet, salty, sour and unidentifiable.  It was the nastiest thing I have ever tasted.  Our faces twisted up like a baby who had just had their first taste of lemon.  When the waitress came to the table I asked her, “What in the world was that mess?”  She replied chutney.  I have had a lot of chutney in my lifetime and that was the worst rendition of chutney I have ever tasted.  Chutney makers around the world should revolt and protest.

Dark Chocolate Mousse

The mousse was not too bad.  It was light and fluffy, while at the same time rich and creamy.  The chef added pineapple to the dish and it reminded us of a fresh pineapple upside down cake. 

Key Lime Tart

The key lime filling in this tart was more akin to a mousse than the standard custard.  It was much like a key lime meringue.  The crust was way too heavy considering the lightness of the filling.